Rem *** Amiga version by Roland Acton, October 1991
Rem *** This program is public domain
Set Buffer 30
Extension_5_003A
Dim SITUATION$(48),RESPONSE$(48,3),GOODCOMEBACK$(48,3),BADCOMEBACK$(48,3),GOODPOINTS(48,3),BADPOINTS(48,3),SPECIAL(48),TUNE(48),RANK$(17),NODRINK$(12),PHRASE$(11),NAME$(11)
Hide
Amos Lock
Amos To Front
SETUP
ENTERGAME: TITLEPAGE
Screen 0 : Screen Show 0 : Pen 1 : Paper 0 : Cls
If Right$(A$,1)=" " Then MUSMENU : Clear Key : Goto ENTERGAME
MEDINTERFACE[50]
If A$="advice" Then HELP=1 : ADVICE : Clear Key : Goto ENTERGAME
Auto View On : Palette 0,$FFF,$F,$F0,$F00,$FF0
Rem *** The original version of the game allowed the user to type in
Rem *** his age and weight, and used this to affect the drink limit.
Rem *** Since there was too much potential for abuse, I decided just
Rem *** to forget about it and determine the limit randomly.
Rem Input "What's your weight?";WEIGHT
Rem Print
Rem If WEIGHT<95 Then Print "You can't drink, you're a lightweight!" : Print
Rem If WEIGHT>200 Then Print "Go on a diet, pork-butt!"
Rem Input "What's your age?";AGE
Rem Print
Rem If AGE<18 Then Print "Minors beware!" : Print
Rem If AGE>30 Then Print "Find another hobby, you old lush!" : Print
WEIGHT=150 : AGE=25
Randomize Timer : Curs Off
LIMIT=Int((4*WEIGHT+12*AGE)/130)+Rnd(4) : If LIMIT>12 Then LIMIT=12
For C=1 To 48 : Read SITUATION$(C),SPECIAL(C),TUNE(C)
For T=1 To 3 : Read RESPONSE$(C,T) : Next
For T=1 To 3 : Read GOODCOMEBACK$(C,T) : Read GOODPOINTS(C,T) : Read BADCOMEBACK$(C,T) : Read BADPOINTS(C,T) : Next
Next
For C=1 To 17 : Read RANK$(C) : Next
For C=1 To 12 : Read NODRINK$(C) : Next
For C=1 To 10 : Read PHRASE$(C) : Next
For C=1 To 10 : Read NAME$(C) : Next
Data "You spot an empty bar stool.",0,1
Data "Ease on over to it","Scramble and jump up on it","Pass it up"
Data "You got it! You got it!",20,"Another guy gets there first.",-20
Data "Ain't nobody gonna mess with you.",35,"It has a broken spring, ouch.",-35
Data "Only lushes use stools.",35,"Too bad, it was a good seat.",-35
Data "Your hair is messed up.",0,2
Data "Run your hand through it","Shake your head","Whip out your comb"
Data "It drives the girls crazy.",45,"Hair pulls out, you're going bald.",-45
Data "Who needs a comb, anyway?",35,"Snot flies out of your nose.",-45
Data "No hairballs in it.",30,"It's full of lint and dandruff.",-25
Data "A waitress just brought you a drink.",5,3
Data "Tip her nothing","Give her a buck","Stuff a five in her bra"
Data "What did she ever do for you?",25,"That's what she thinks of you.",-50
Data "She pinches your butt.",50,"A dollar won't get you laid.",-25
Data "Says she'd rather get 10 later.",75,"She hands it back to you.",-75
Data "A girl asks you to dance with her friend.",0,4
Data "Say yes","Say no","Laugh in her face"
Data "Looks like Christie Brinkley!",65,"Have a dance with Superhag.",-65
Data "She was a hogger anyway.",35,"You turned down a blonde beauty.",-50
Data "Her friend was another guy.",55,"She spits in your face.",-55
Data "There's $10 on the floor.",6,5
Data "Put your foot over it","Dive on it","Pick it up and pocket it"
Data "It's all yours.",60,"There's dog-doo on your shoe.",-35
Data "Good move - but it's only a $1.",25,"You miss and it blows away.",-40
Data "A girl puts her hand in after it.",50,"The guy who lost it sees you.",-60
Data "You see a girl you want.",0,1
Data "Offer to buy her a drink","Strike a macho pose","Play "+Chr$(34)+"hard to get"+Chr$(34)
Data "She falls for it.",55,"She laughs and says no thanks.",-55
Data "You're turning her on.",55,"Your fly is open.",-55
Data "She's burning for your body.",60,"You're also "+Chr$(34)+"hard to want."+Chr$(34),-60
Data "A cute girl asks what time it is.",0,3
Data "Look at your wrist and tell her","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Time to have sex with me"+Chr$(34),"Say "+Chr$(34)+"Ok, I'm game! What time is it?"+Chr$(34)
Data "She admires your watch.",40,"You're not wearing a watch, fool.",-40
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"I think you're right!"+Chr$(34),70,"She says "+Chr$(34)+"It's not THAT late."+Chr$(34),-70
Data "Your wit captivates her.",45,"She asks somebody else.",-45
Data "A girl falls down in front of you.",0,6
Data "Laugh heartily","Help her up","Spit on her"
Data "Why not? It was funny.",25,"She bites you on the ankle.",-60
Data "Her pretty friend thanks you.",60,"She thinks you tripped her.",-45
Data "The crowd cheers you on.",40,"Bad move, she's a lady wrestler.",-65
Data "You want to start a conversation.",1,2
Data Chr$(34)+"How about this crazy weather?"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Yep, that's the way it goes"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"This is quite a bar, but not really"+Chr$(34)
Data "You're a smalltalk expert.",40,"That opening line stinks.",-40
Data "That's the way it's going, alright.",20,"Ya know, they've heard that.",-20
Data "That was quite a put-down.",30,"You're quite a guy, but not really.",-30
Data "Someone asks if you know a good joke.",0,7
Data "Tell a dirty joke","Tell a clean joke","Say you don't know any"
Data "It's disgusting and amusing.",25,"Everyone's repulsed.",-25
Data "Strangely enough, it's funny.",30,"Clean jokes are no good.",-30
Data "A good man knows his limitations.",40,"You're the biggest joke of all.",-40
Data "You're hit in the back with an ice cube.",0,8
Data "Ignore it","Peer over your shoulder","Turn around"
Data "Right, don't let it bother you.",40,"It was really some skrock.",-55
Data "A lovely girl wants your attention.",50,"You look like you're afraid.",-25
Data "A foxy girl wants to talk.",50,"You're hit in the face with a beer.",-65
Data "A female puts her hands over your eyes.",0,4
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"I'm going blind! Ha Ha"+Chr$(34),"Take her hand and lick it","Grab her by the wrists"
Data "She thinks she surprised you.",45,"You wish you were when you see her.",-60
Data "She licks you back.",50,"She thinks you're gross.",-50
Data "She loves forceful men.",45,"She hates physical abuse.",-40
Data "An ugly girl asks what your name is.",0,1
Data "Give her your friend's name","Tell her your real name","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Jack Meoff. Why?"+Chr$(34)
Data "What are friends for?",25,"She knows you're lying.",-25
Data "Her pretty friend wants to know.",40,"The police are looking for you.",-65
Data "Always play it safe.",30,"She knees you in the groin.",-50
Data "You spot an old girlfriend.",0,9
Data "Give her a disgusted look","Go talk to her","Throw a table at her"
Data "She regrets ever losing you.",40,"She never noticed you.",-40
Data "She'll pay up the $50 she owes you.",65,"She blames you for her pregnancy.",-65
Data "She won't ever bother you again.",40,"The tables are bolted to the floor.",-35
Data "You see a girl carrying a cat.",0,6
Data "Go pet it (the cat)","Yell "+Chr$(34)+"Look! Pure pussy!"+Chr$(34),"Set her up with your friend."
Data "She loves animal lovers.",50,"Your hand gets bitten (by the girl).",-50
Data "One hell of a line.",35,"She throws the cat at you.",-35
Data "A great dirty trick.",45,"Her dad's a millionaire, dope.",-45
Data "You have to take a piss bad.",0,7
Data "Get in line for the john","Run past the people in line","Go in the corner, hope no one notices"
Data "Your patience is appreciated.",35,"You can't wait and have an accident.",-60
Data "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.",40,"Oops, wrong john.",-40
Data "All the girls get turned on.",70,"Everyone notices.",-70
Data "The bouncer laughs and asks for some ID.",0,9
Data "Laugh and say you don't have any","Show him some","Smile and walk on by"
Data "He was just kidding.",20,"He gets mean and hassles you for it.",-20
Data "He hardly glances at it.",35,"How degrading.",-35
Data "Don't worry, you're a regular.",45,"He grabs you and demands some.",-45
Data "Nothing much is going on right now.",0,10
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"Oh yes oh yes oh yes...oh nooo"+Chr$(34),"Yell "+Chr$(34)+"Hey! Any girls wanna fuck me?"+Chr$(34),"Scream "+Chr$(34)+"How about those hard-ons!"+Chr$(34)
Data "You're a ramblin' kinda guy.",35,"People think you're strange.",-35
Data "Some of them do.",55,"There's no takers.",-55
Data "What about them?",15,"You aren't improving things.",-15
Data "Try snacking on some...",2,1
Data "Pretzels","Peanuts","Potato chips"
Data "Pretzels go well with alcohol.",25,"They're stale.",-25
Data "Peanuts won't hurt to puke up.",25,"Yuck, somebody barfed on them.",-30
Data "Low salt, good for blood pressure.",20,"There's no dip, except for you.",-15
Data "Your favorite song is on the radio.",0,11
Data "Ask a girl to dance to it","Howl and get rowdy","Play your "+Chr$(34)+"air guitar"+Chr$(34)+" to it"
Data "She thinks you're charming.",45,"It's her least favorite.",-45
Data "Yep, it's starting to gel.",35,"You appear to be drunk.",-35
Data "A talent scout wants to hire you.",30,"You look like an air HEAD.",-30
Data "The waitress winks at you.",0,3
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"Is there something in your eye?"+Chr$(34),"Wink back","Whisper "+Chr$(34)+"The coat room in 5 minutes"+Chr$(34)
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Yeah - you."+Chr$(34),55,"Not any more.",-45
Data "Check your supply of condoms, pal.",55,"It was just dirt in her eye.",-30
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Make it 2 minutes."+Chr$(34),60,"Ok, if you don't mind herpes.",-60
Data "Test your skill on a video game...",3,12
Data "Sentupeed","Pahk-Mann","Zaksonn"
Data "3-D's bad enough when you're sober.",20,"Real good choice, maggot.",-20
Data "A crowd of girls gathers to watch.",45,"This game is archaic.",-35
Data "You set the new high score.",40,"The machine steals your quarter.",-30
Data "You stagger into the girls' john.",10,2
Data "Buy a tampon and smoke it","Pass out the tampons as party favors","Piss on every toilet seat"
Data "The deodorant gets you high.",40,"The machine is empty.",-40
Data "You're the life of the party.",35,"Pull the string - nothing happens.",-35
Data "It's funny if you're not a girl.",25,"You're a no-class guy.",-25
Data "A guy calls you a faggot.",0,7
Data "Ask what he's doing later","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Go play with yourself!"+Chr$(34),"Call him a lesbian"
Data "That line left him speechless.",35,"He's beating you up later.",-60
Data "He backs down.",60,"The joke doesn't go over.",-35
Data "An incredible comeback.",55,"Now he's really ticked off.",-55
Data "A bright light is above you.",0,4
Data "Squint","Say "+Chr$(34)+"This light here sucks"+Chr$(34),"Move out of the light"
Data "Squinting makes you look manly.",30,"Your eyesight is going.",-30
Data "Why not? It does suck.",20,"Then don't stand near it, dunce.",-20
Data "You can make quick decisions.",35,"Don't let a light push you around.",-35
Data "The bottom of your drink is wet.",0,1
Data "Wipe it off with your hand","Use a napkin","Use your sleeve"
Data "Now wipe it on your friend.",20,"Now where do you wipe your hand?",-20
Data "Keep things tidy.",15,"Use a feminine napkin, too.",-15
Data "You're very resourceful.",25,"It looks like snot-stains.",-25
Data "You want to talk to a girl.",1,2
Data Chr$(34)+"How about that Mideast crisis?"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"What's a nice girl like you doing...",Chr$(34)+"Some crazy weather we've had lately"+Chr$(34)
Data "The Mideast turns her on.",50,"The Mideast depresses her.",-30
Data "...talking to a great guy like me?"+Chr$(34),40,"...talking to a jerk like me?"+Chr$(34),-40
Data "She agrees and says "+Chr$(34)+"It's crazy."+Chr$(34),30,"Her family was killed in a tornado.",-50
Data "A waitress brought the drink.",7,3
Data "Tip her a dollar","Pat her on the head","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Keep the change"+Chr$(34)
Data "Good for you.",30,"She doesn't even say thank you.",-30
Data "She pats you on the butt.",45,"What a cheapskate.",-45
Data "You won't be remembered.",10,"There isn't any change.",-10
Data "You're tired of standing.",0,7
Data "Sit at a table","Lean against the wall","Ask a waitress for a leg massage"
Data "That was the last open table.",35,"The table you're at is reserved.",-35
Data "Some girls lean next to you.",45,"Holding up walls loses you points.",-45
Data "She'd rather massage it in private.",55,"She thinks you're weird.",-55
Data "A waitress spills a drink on herself.",0,6
Data "Shout "+Chr$(34)+"Good hands!"+Chr$(34),"Help her clean off","Yell "+Chr$(34)+"Look! That girl's wet!"+Chr$(34)
Data "You got her attention.",45,"You'll never feel them.",-45
Data "She doesn't know how to thank you.",60,"She's mad and doesn't want any help.",-60
Data "Believe it or not, she is.",35,"Wrong again.",-35
Data "It's pretty boring right now.",0,10
Data "Yell "+Chr$(34)+"Ya feel it? I feel it!"+Chr$(34),"Shout "+Chr$(34)+"Yo! Sweetheart!"+Chr$(34),"Chant "+Chr$(34)+"Hard-on! Hard-on!"+Chr$(34)
Data "They feel it.",25,"Nobody feels it and nobody cares.",-25
Data "All the pretty girls turn around.",40,"Only the ugly girls look.",-40
Data "Some of the girls say "+Chr$(34)+"Where?"+Chr$(34),35,"Yours is nothing to brag about.",-35
Data "A guy is handing out bumper stickers.",0,1
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"Wouldn't look right on my Rolls"+Chr$(34),"Take one and stick it on his back","Blow your nose in one"
Data "It wouldn't, if you had one.",15,"Wouldn't look right on your junker.",-15
Data "The crowd thinks it's hilarious.",55,"He sticks one on your face.",-55
Data "Beats using your bare hands.",40,"It doesn't hold it too well.",-40
Data "A strangely happy girl says "+Chr$(34)+"Hi!"+Chr$(34),1,8
Data Chr$(34)+"Evidently"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Do I know you?"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Hey! How've you been?"+Chr$(34)
Data "She laughs and says "+Chr$(34)+"I'm not high!"+Chr$(34),30,"She doesn't get the joke.",-30
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"You can if you want to."+Chr$(34),50,"She says "+Chr$(34)+"I wasn't talking to you."+Chr$(34),-50
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"I've been lonely."+Chr$(34),45,"She wasn't talking to you.",-45
Data "A waitress asks if you want anything.",0,3
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"I want you to bend over"+Chr$(34),"Nod your head yes and say "+Chr$(34)+"Nope"+Chr$(34),"Say "+Chr$(34)+"A date would be nice"+Chr$(34)
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Ok, maybe later."+Chr$(34),65,"She thinks you're a pervert.",-65
Data "It got a laugh out of her.",35,"She says "+Chr$(34)+"Quit wasting my time!"+Chr$(34),-35
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"I was going to ask you!"+Chr$(34),55,"Not for her it wouldn't.",-55
Data "Go play a game of...",4,13
Data "Foosball","Pinball","Pool"
Data "Foosball impresses girls.",35,"You suck at foosball tonight.",-35
Data "You set a record high score.",30,"So you like to play with balls?",-30
Data "You make some incredible shots.",20,"You can't even shoot straight.",-20
Data "Someone drops their drink.",0,6
Data "Shout "+Chr$(34)+"Nice catch!"+Chr$(34),"Smile and laugh quietly","Yell "+Chr$(34)+"Ho! Fumble!"+Chr$(34)
Data "My, aren't we sarcastic.",25,"No, it was a bad throw.",-25
Data "It wasn't that funny anyway.",20,"You chickened out.",-20
Data "Now kick the ice across the floor.",40,"A 300-lb. linebacker dropped it.",-55
Data "A girl is waving at you.",0,8
Data "Go talk to her","Smile at her","Wave back"
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Guess what I want to do?"+Chr$(34),50,"She just has cerebral palsy.",-50
Data "You playboy, you.",45,"She gets a good look at you.",-45
Data "Fine. Now go have sex with her.",55,"She wasn't waving at you.",-55
Data "It's getting late.",1,1
Data Chr$(34)+"Well, it's been real"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Yep, I guess it gelled"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Quite an evening, but not really"+Chr$(34)
Data "Hell, it's been 5-dimensional.",30,"It never came close to reality.",-30
Data "You're damn right it did.",40,"Don't kid yourself.",-40
Data "It was, but not actually.",20,"What did you expect?",-20
Data "You may be about to barf.",8,7
Data "Do it on the bar","Spray it out your nose","Do it in an empty pitcher"
Data "Nope, the barf never developed.",40,"What a runny mess.",-55
Data "Nope, the barf never developed.",40,"It was a beautiful thing.",25
Data "Nope, the barf never developed.",40,"Now you can drink it again.",40
Data "A waitress says "+Chr$(34)+"Be careful going home."+Chr$(34),0,3
Data "Say "+Chr$(34)+"Ok, where's your house?"+Chr$(34),"Say "+Chr$(34)+"You better walk me to my car"+Chr$(34),"Say "+Chr$(34)+"Of course, I always use rubbers!"+Chr$(34)
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Sure, stop by later on."+Chr$(34),45,"It's nowhere near yours.",-30
Data "She does (you sly dog).",55,"She says "+Chr$(34)+"Take a hike!"+Chr$(34),-55
Data "She'd let you use one on her.",50,"She calls you a dick.",-55
Data "Some people are blocking the door.",0,9
Data "Push your way through","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Excuuuuuse me"+Chr$(34),"Try to walk around them"
Data "They don't want any trouble.",25,"Everyone thinks you're rude.",-25
Data "They all get out of your way.",30,"There's no excuse for you.",-30
Data "They're sorry for being in the way.",40,"One of them trips you.",-40
Data "A guy spills some beer on your leg.",0,7
Data "Stare at him angrily","Just let it go","Say "+Chr$(34)+"Hey, watch it!"+Chr$(34)
Data "He's scared you'll hit him.",45,"He dumps some more on your foot.",-45
Data "You've shown your maturity.",50,"You feel like a wimp.",-50
Data "He gets down & wipes off your shoe.",35,"He's blind and asks "+Chr$(34)+"Watch what?"+Chr$(34),-35
Data "A girl asks "+Chr$(34)+"What's new?"+Chr$(34),1,8
Data Chr$(34)+"I've got a new waterbed"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"Your nipples look quite hard"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"I've got 7 if you've got 5"+Chr$(34)
Data "Her pants are halfway down.",55,"She gets sea-sick easily.",-55
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"You look hard yourself."+Chr$(34),65,"She thinks you're disgusting.",-65
Data "She thinks it's more than 7.",70,"Tough luck, she's on the rag.",-70
Data "You just farted.",0,13
Data "Sneer and point at your friend","Stare at the ceiling","Stand upwind"
Data "Everyone thinks it was him.",40,"Everyone knows it was you.",-40
Data "Nobody noticed anyway.",25,"You look guilty as hell.",-25
Data "The cloud drifts away from you.",30,"The wind direction shifts.",-30
Data "A girl is trying to get by you.",0,3
Data "Step back and let her by","Rub up against her as she goes by","Stand in her way on purpose"
Data "She says "+Chr$(34)+"Thank you very much!"+Chr$(34),30,"She steps on your toes.",-30
Data "You get a cheap thrill from it.",45,"She coughs in your face.",-45
Data "She grabs your waist and moves you.",50,"She shoves you out of the way.",-50
Data "Someone stole your coat.",0,1
Data "Steal someone else's","Go home without it","Complain loudly"
Data "Fair is fair.",45,"They catch you.",-45
Data "There were lice in it anyway.",25,"You're a real sucker.",-25
Data "A waitress finds it on the floor.",35,"Whining about it won't help.",-35
Data "You're trying not to puke.",9,4
Data "Put your hand on your stomach","Think about ice water","Close your eyes"
Data "You lucked out and didn't puke.",40,"Your ulcer makes you throw up.",-55
Data "You lucked out and didn't puke.",40,"Ice water with puke in it.",-25
Data "You lucked out and didn't puke.",40,"It makes you dizzy and even sicker.",-40
Data "A decent girl asks you to her car.",1,8
Data Chr$(34)+"Does it have engine trouble?"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"No, let's go to my car"+Chr$(34),Chr$(34)+"My this is so sudden!"+Chr$(34)
Data "She'd let you check under her hood.",55,"Are you a jerk or what?",-55
Data "She doesn't mind.",65,"The contraceptives are in her car.",-65
Data "She hopes it won't be.",70,"She changes her mind.",-70
Data "Subhuman","Nobody","Total Zero","Geek","Loser","Lightweight","Amateur","Lush","Boozer","Lounge Lizard","Brewmaster","Party Monster","Drinking Man","Nighthawk","Social Expert","Swinger","Sex God"
Data "No drink, no bonus.","Fine. Be a lightweight!","What's the matter with you?"
Data "Too bad, you needed a drink.","Buy a drink, or else!","Come to a bar and not drink?"
Data "You're empty-handed again?","Why aren't you drinking?","You wussied out again!"
Data "Got an ulcer or something?","Peer pressure is turning critical!","You've lost your credibility!"
Data "Fuck you ","Shit ","Damn ","Hell ","Fuck ","Eat shit ","Damn it ","Go to hell ","Fuck off ","Bullshit "
Data "asshole","dipshit","gaywad","jerkoff","bastard","dildo","fagbait","pisspot","dickhead","fucker"
End Proc
Procedure TITLEPAGE
Shared A$
Clear Key : A$="" : Auto View Off : Screen Show 0 : Screen 0 : Cls : MEDINTERFACE[24]
JTR: Pen 1 : Paper 0 : Cls
Locate 0,20 : Centre "Programming & Music by Roland Acton"
Locate 0,23 : Centre "LMB to start, SPACE for music menu,"